What TO do.
Not, what NOT to do.
One client recently said: “I’ve had so much feedback and I’m trying to stop doing what isn't working. So much so, that I don’t really even know how to be any more.”
One woman said to me in a workshop: “I’d like to ask for it, but I don’t want to seem greedy or pushy or overly ambitious.”
It’s common to have the desire to focus on what “not” to do. How NOT to be. But that gets us nowhere and carves us down to a tiny, stumpy version of ourselves and leaves little to no room for our truest selves to fully and honestly show up.
My early mentor said to me when I was learning to coach speakers for their most crucial moments in their careers:
“You can’t coach folks on what NOT to do. You can only coach them on what TO do.”
I never tell you “don’t look at the floor” instead I’ll coach you to “look into the camera when you say that last line”.
What TO do.
Not, what NOT to do.
When you make this shift, you can get yourself into action and harness your personal power and purpose instead of shrinking and disappearing.
I can make room
for my more powerful self
when I coach myself on what TO do
and how TO be.
And you can flip this onto yourself.
The moment you hear yourself say “don’t do that”, immediately ask yourself, “If i’m NOT doing that, what AM I doing?”
“Don’t sound greedy” turns into “Speak about this using language of generosity.”
“Don’t talk too fast” turns into “Speak slowly and have patience with yourself.”
“Don’t interrupt” turns into “Listen carefully and wait.”
What TO do.
Not, what NOT to do.
